We are a two mom foster home. We have been active since February 2018 and we received our first placement in April of 2018, a 3yr old boy. He was in diapers, non-verbal and tantrums were the norm when he arrived. The same little boy is still with us over a year later. He is doing amazing, big boy undies, talks up a storm, can spell his name and is working on being able to write it. Tantrums are a thing of the past.
The two biggest struggles we encountered were getting the training hours we needed and finding support groups that are centered on the family.
Unfortunately, all the support groups we were offered were also trainings to obtain hours. The groups were held in random member's houses and the ‘babysitting’ was a member of the group watching the kids in a separate room. This just doesn’t work when you have a child struggling with anxiety and separation. It created more tantrums and we would spend the time in the other room trying to calm our hysterical child not getting anything out of the training. This went on for a few months before we made the decision to stop attending. This meant we were no longer getting any training hours. We were also missing the opportunity to talk with other foster parents, this being our first time fostering we were hoping for the chance to ask questions and feel connected. Fostering is a lonely place unless you have been there it's hard for others to understand and offer advice. That's what we really needed. We still don't have a support group, we've managed to research questions on our own and really, truly rely on each other.
Which brings me to one of my positives, this journey has brought us closer, we are absolutely appreciative of each other's parenting strengths. Another would be the amazing people involved in the case, the GAL, CASA, Workers. They have all been very attentive and encourage asking questions. And of course our little guy. He has more courage, determination and bravery than I’ve ever seen. We were sitting at dinner the other night when he randomly said, "I can change my future." This from the beautiful little blonde boy who a year ago could not put two words together. He is the biggest positive!